Archive for March, 2009
“If only?” Only if.
Often, while browsing around, looking at shoes, as we all know I am want to do, I see a design or pattern which I find, frankly, bizarre or unsightly. Whilst gazing at the computer screen, tilt headed like a puzzled Golden Retriever who seems bewildered by human actions, I too wonder what on earth some designers who I have observed to be otherwise sane and rational could possibly be thinking. If only I could get into the minds of these certain designers and put to them the questions racing through my brain. Instead, I present you with a short list of shoes which make my “I would only wear that if…” list.
Sorry Marc Jacobs
I would only wear those if I were playing Guitar Hero in my rec room. Alone.
Excuse you, Jimmy Choo
Only if I were on Rock of Love, heaven forbid, would I don such a creep toe. Or if my family and I didn’t have our own cheese grater at home and I thought I could put the heel to work on a block of Romano.
Yes, Indeed, UGG Australia!
I would LOVE to wear these boots. They would be perfect for my costume only if my feet were playing the part of “The Bedsheets” in a play entitled “The Unnecessarily Rustic Country Inn.”
Burberry, Burberry, Burberry
I’d only don this pair if I didn’t believe in taking any style license whatsoever and insisted that the design of my footwear had to match the design of my underwear. FYI, by those standards, the correct re-nomer of a Flip Flop is “thong”, not “G-string.”
Tory Burch, I admire some of your more adventurous creations but this:
is something I would subject my feet to only if I were playing the part of the Lumberjack in the village people (is there even a lumberjack in the Village People?)
So there you have them. What I consider five terribly botched attemps by five designers to create something fasionable. I should mention, however, that such transgressions are comitted by many more designers every single day. Do I perchance envision a more careful scrutiny by these couturieurs before they unleash more designs like these in the future, post this very blog post? If only.
Posted by alyssa on Tuesday, March 31st, 2009 | Boots, Flat, Platforms, Pumps, Sandals, Uncategorized | No Comments
It’s a flop: the PVC platform wedge
As signs of spring continue to shine their way through New England, it won’t be long before flip flops, the ubiquitous and seasonal casual shoe, arrive back on the scene. And with that, flip flops’ arch nemesis: the PVC platform wedge.
With heights that rival resin heels that are often seen at the most notorious of, ahem, gentlemen’s clubs and embellishments that are apt to appear on a dog collar, the PVC wedge retracts the effortless “slide in, slide out” methodology of the flip flop. And did I mention that foam wedges look ridiculous on 100% of the female population?
I encourage Sole Envie blog readers to visit the Alley, home of nightclub locales The Estate, Liquor Store and pathway to hell. On any given evening April through October, there’s a good chance that 5 out of every 10 women you pass will be traipsing and tripping about in such footwear that better serves as a stepstool than accompaniment to getting on down on the dance floor. The other 5 out of 10 women will stare in horror as these women barrel into them, knockoff Coach hobos and raspberry vodkas flying. Five inches of manmade material intended to wash one’s car with doesn’t offer much stability.
The solution to this footwear faux pas is so simple, any woman can do it:
- Be fabulous
- Wear shoes of your liking that won’t give you blisters, bunions and other unsightly podiatric ailments
- If the temptation of sky-high stilettos has you hooked, pack a pair of plain old flip flops in your purse for quick relief in the ladies’ room
- Repeat as necessary
-Karyn Polewaczyk
Posted by Karyn Polewaczyk on Monday, March 30th, 2009 | Flat, Platforms, Sandals, Tips, Uncategorized, Wedges | No Comments
Here comes the bride (and bridesmaid)
My sister and I often agree to disagree: I like gold jewelry; she prefers silver. I enjoy a cold scoop of vanilla ice cream as is, while she’ll have hers chocolate and with sprinkles, please. My taste in men is tall, dark, handsome and fleeting, while hers is a boyfriend of five years who turned into her fiancé last February.
And so it began: the planning of the wedding of the century (or so it seemed to a preternatural single girl). Topics of discussion quickly transformed from Boston gossip and general silliness to cakes, florists and centerpieces. And then came the bridesmaid dresses: battles over fabrics , color and cut ensued on a seemingly daily basis. When my sister finally narrowed it down to a gorgeous, plum colored sheath dress from Coren Moore, I was satisfied – until the topic changed to bridesmaid shoe regulations.
My sister wanted me and the other two bridesmaids to have matching footwear. Multiple problems arose with this idea, ranging from our geographical distances to height to foot width. I finally put my foot down (no pun intended) and chose a pair of metallic strappy silver sandals from Benetton, with my fingers crossed that they would pass. Not only were the sandals on sale at 65% off, they’re well-made, stylish, and most importantly, comfortable – how else would I be able to dance the night away to the sounds of Michael Jackson and Earth, Wind and Fire?
Moral of the story: when shopping for your bridal party, flexibility should come from more than just the sole. And the girl and her sandals lived happily ever after.
Posted by Karyn Polewaczyk on Wednesday, March 18th, 2009 | Sandals | No Comments
The ES.S.ence of Ugly: Jack Sparrow Inspired Footwear?
Ahoy, maties! And welcome aboard the U.S.S. Heinous. There is a trend I have seen popping up in several places (I’ll admit it’s mostly in internet searches on shoe-only sites which I forget to curtail to avoid lower end selections), including my college campus. I’d like to take the opportunity to offer some reflections on the subject, if “ye scallywags” will permit me.
It is called the fold over boot, and while pirate culture has made it’s way into our society recently due to the Pirates of the Caribbean films which have become extremely popular, I would like to explain to those whose responsibility it is to design clothing and footwear that there exists a difference between costume designer and clothing designer. Clothing is what we wear when we are intending to go outside in public and do not want to face public ridicule and embarrassment. Costumes are for people who are either acting or playing pretend. Since a New England college campus is neither the set of Master and Commander nor a Renaissance Faire, the grade is F for those of you I’ve seen sporting this re-imagining of a nautical antique. Pulled up over dark jeans, they invite the eye to drift upward in expectation of the accompanying Justacorps , the only truly appropriate matching attire for such a set of footwear. And these boots are for women! All right, all right, you may be saying, but that certainly cannot be the worst faux pas in knee high footwear category. Certainly, that assumption is correct. Enter THIS:
whatever this is. It’s an Airwalk, as I feel uncomfortable putting this photograph out into the world without naming the fiend who birthed this hideous progeny into the public sphere, claiming unsavvy victims left and right on whichever shelves it is unwisely placed. If you can imagine, I have seen an individual wearing a similar shoe with even more strappy embellishments, danging around like paper streamers between the knee and ankle of the shoe in a design irrelevant to anyone not dressed as a toilet paper mummy for Halloween. I am not exactly certain about what it is that irks me so terribly about this shoe.
I am certainly not biased against round toed flat boots, I suppose I’m offended by the lack of design that seems to go into these contraptions. Yes, contraptions. I am through referring to these abominations as shoes. They are either copies of what we’ve seen in popular culture, or simply themselves seemingly thoughtlessly thrown together. Creative license is extremely important but a designer must always ask themselves and their teams that one fundamental question: Is this ugly?
Here, the answer is most certainly yes. Fortunately, there is plenty of diversity for shoppers out there, and in the near future customization will allow us to escape the dominant reign of those who insist on designing unsightly things for our consumption and let us create footwear that we actually like in lieu of having to invest in a pair of boots that might not meet all of our aesthetic desires and needs.
Posted by alyssa on Monday, March 16th, 2009 | Boots, Flat | No Comments
An Exception to Every Rule: Choosing The Right Running Shoe to Keep Tootsies Safe!
I will acknowledge that my preoccupation with shoes has a great deal to do with aesthetics. Color, heel height and accent pieces all contribute to the overall appearance of a shoe and help shoppers decide if a certain pair is going to perfectly match that great new dress for a friend’s wedding or be versatile enough to wear daily with the majority of one’s office attire. Personally, I know that my selection process can be roughly estimated as 70-80% appearance based and therefore 30-20% based upon whether or not the pair of shoes I might be taking home will be comfortable. But when considering a shoe for athletic purposes, especially for a sport like running, I not only recommend but request that you take a different approach when selecting what you’re going to wear on the road, on the trail, (or even on the treadmill). Even if you are not a serious runner and simply enjoy (or at least dutifully coerce yourself into) exercising at the gym, the appropriate shoes are an essential. Take it from someone who suffers from shin splints thanks to Irish dancing.
Many people might assume that simply owning an athletic shoe or even a shoe more specifically categorized or designed for “walking”, “running” or “cross-country” means that they can then be certain that they are completely equipped to begin their exercise regimen. This is not the case! Each individual’s foot type and their workout schedule determine the type of athletic shoe that they are going to need. Marathon runners with high arches who run twenty miles a day on a flat paved road should not necessarily be wearing the same shoes as flat footed trail fiends who run six miles a day on hiking paths.You need to see an expert.
At New England Running Company in Beverly, MA, their professionals observe an individual’s gait and movement, look at their feet and, if one brings them, a pair of the shoes that they have been wearing to evaluate the type of shoe that that particular individual needs. When I visited with my parents, the expert who helped them find their shoes was able to narrow their options down to one to two pairs of sneakers each out of the multitude of selections that they have available at their store. This establishment can help those of you who are not runners out as well! My parents go on long exercise walks and work out at the gym, so anyone who needs an athletic shoe is encouraged to get a fitting, not just those who ascribe to the activity in the company’s name. The expert helping my parents said one of the biggest mistake that people make when they buy athletic shoes is that they choose shoes based on how “cool” they look. Funky springlike plastic contraptions under the heels and pretty color schemes seduce us into thinking that just because something is attractive and appears state of the art that it must therefore provide everything that an exercise nut could possibly need in a shoe, and that could not be further from the truth. While we were there, I saw a pair of shoes which were particularly hideous, bright yellow and loud… and the associate said that there were indeed people for whom that shoe was a correct match, who purchased said shoe, and, we can assume, has a much more comfortable and supportive experience running in that shoe than he would in a trendy Nike.
So please…take my advice and in one aspect disregard everything else I typically consider gospel when choosing a shoe. Besides, if you’re the one who ends up with those fantastically homely shoes, cheer up. It can only inspire your feet to move faster in public.
Posted by alyssa on Monday, March 9th, 2009 | athletic | No Comments
Time to buy? Not so fast, fashionistas
Put down those Christian Louboutins and slowly back away. The fashion police, on full recession alert, are here to offer proverbial smack down to any fashionista who dares to defy the rules of sale shoe shopping.
First things first: everything is on sale right now. Televisions, cars, Botox and shoes are just a handful of consumer products that retailers and specialty stores are anxious to push onto wallet weary customers. A properly fitting, well-made shoe is worth its weight in gold (or leather, or suede, or crushed velvet), almost regardless of the price. If marked down, $200 zebra-print Jimmy Choo strappy sandals with crystal heel embellishments really strike your fancy, by all means – go for them! But if you foresee those sandals getting more action in their box than the dance floor, think twice before dropping hard-earned cash on a name. Staples, such as wear-with-everything pumps in neutral brown and black, are worth buying at full price. The return-on-investment of a shoe that truly speaks to you and your style is multiplied with each wear.
Second: we’re mid-season. To get the best deal on winter-friendly gear, wait until June or July, where venerable steals will abound. Likewise, spring and summer sandals, flip flops and peep-toe pumps will beckon from the sale rack come October and November. Planning ahead, the same way a gourmet chef would stock up for her kitchen, can pay off. Visualize, visualize, visualize, and ignore the snow falling outside when you’re trying on the perfect gladiator lace up flat at 75% off.
Last: re-evaluate what you already have. Spend a weekend afternoon reworking various wardrobe/shoe/accessory combinations – mix and match pieces you wouldn’t dream of possibly pairing. You might find a new best friend for those hardly worn slouchy suede boots in a camel blazer; or, consider consigning the lime kitten heels that just don’t do it for you anymore. With days of excess in our past, sometimes a good housecleaning is just what the doctor ordered.
-Karyn Polewaczyk
Posted by Karyn Polewaczyk on Wednesday, March 4th, 2009 | Boots, Flat, Gladiators, Peep Toes, Sandals, Tips | No Comments
